- 3 lbs Crab Legs
- 2 dozen little neck clams
- 3 TBSP Grassfed butter
- 6 cloves garlic
I moved from Colorado (my home) to Connecticut(this foreign land) two and a half years ago. We practically bought our house sight unseen and moved to a town we had never spent more than a day at a time visiting. We made this move for family, we bought a house across the street from my husband’s sister and family. Our daughter is the same age as theirs and were excited about the idea of parenting all the kiddos together. The move was a hard, and though it has been great being across the street from family, we have often found our town to be less than friendly. (OK, for all you paleo police who can’t get your eyes off the pic- yep, that’s corn. Sugar sweet variety from Eddy farm. The kids love it and I ate some too tonight. It was delicious…)
I’ll be honest, the first 7 months we lived here I was pregnant and chalked up the lack of communication to perhaps my disconnect. Then I had a new baby and wasn’t out and about much. Then came the winter of 2010 and record snow storms that kept most people from going much of anywhere, and then….. I realized we had been here over a year and I had failed to really connect with anybody. I hated it in Connecticut. I felt like a strange woman in a strange land and really just wanted to go back west. This wasn’t an option so I immediately went to work attempting to connect with anybody I could.
Smiling at the grocery store and trying to chat with the workers. I made best friends with the man at the meat counter at Whole Foods but then he left. Sorrow. It wasn’t like this in Colorado. Waving at neighbors with no acknowledgement.These folks were rude, in Denver everyone waves back. CrossFit was my sanctuary but at the end of the WOD life was back on and everyone went their separate ways. At Qi everyone always hung out together. Smiling at the other parents at daycare as I picked my children up and getting blank rushed stares back in return. The parents I knew in Stapleton were a community working with one another and forging amazing friendships. I wanted to connect with someone, anyone, and it seemed nobody wanted to in return. All of this PISSED me off.
And so I went about my days as a challenge to connect with people. When I went out for a run I would smile and shout out “Hi” to all that I passed. I would comment on products to people at the grocery store just wanting to get a response. I would find similarities with people anywhere and everywhere I went and jump on them as I attempted to make conversation. All of this to little avail. I was trying a little too hard and probably coming off as aggressive. Another year here and no better off. I would often bike or run to a few large tobacco barns near my house and refer to them as my best friends. They made me happy, were always there when I needed to just be, and were in CT terms pretty extraordinary to be with.
So after two years of being here and making very few meaningful connections I said, “F it”. I found myself in about the most depressed state I have ever been in and I stopped worrying about everyone else and returned to worrying about me. About my husband. About my children. About connecting with the ones that mattered most. I stopped worrying about what I had left behind in Colorado and started focusing on what we had to work with here. And a funny thing happened….
Our town started opening up to me. I started connecting with people. I found a yoga studio I liked. I would wave at folks and they would wave back. I was finally making friends. I softened and returned to who I was and suddenly the world was softening in return. I accepted that I wasn’t in Colorado anymore and as soon as I did so it seemed Connecticut in a way welcomed me here. I decided to stop being angry and start finding joy.
I don’t believe that all of the inability to connect was my fault, I don’t believe the lack of interest to communicate from others was simply a construct of my mind, but I do believe at some point the stories I told myself about all of it made it worse. and Worse. and WORSE… and once I returned to what really mattered, to what I could control, to myself it started to turn around. I finally stopped focusing on how I wanted to things to be and started appreciating things for the way they already were.
Today we did our weekend shop at Stew Leonards and I headed for the seafood counter. King Crab Legs are my all time favorite food and they were on sale for a ridiculous price at $7.99 a pound. I attempted making them at home once and they were horrible, I wanted to try again. Today I marched up to the counter got my number and when my number was called I ordered my 3 pounds and very ambitiously asked the fish monger the best way to cook them. I had visions of steaming, or boiling, roasting or broiling, maybe even throwing them on the grill. I was going to make these the best damn crab legs once I had a pointer or two from the gal working. She stared blankly back at me and said, “They’re already cooked. Just give them a little time to defrost and you’ll be fine.” I didn’t need to do anything. I just needed to be and GIVE THEM SOME TIME.
So how does this all come together? This morning I got up early and headed out for a morning Crossfit class to meet a gal, a friend, who I have connected with via Facebook on and off for a year but have never sat down with in person to chat. As I drove down the hill from my street I passed an old farmer on a big red tractor trekking slowly up the hill. I smiled at him and waved and he smiled and waved back and I shocked myself as I thought out loud, “I love my town!” I’m finally ready to call CT home, I didn’t really need to do anything, I just needed to GIVE IT SOME TIME.
King Crab Legs
- Buy the Crab legs(confirm they are already cooked)
- Defrost them
- Enjoy them
- Just give it all some time!
Little neck Clams
- Heat a large skillet and melt 3 TBSP Grassfed butter
- Add 6 cloves minced garlic and sautee for a minute
- Pour in 1/2 cup chicken broth
- Place all clams in the skillet(ensure they are clean and intact if you haven’t already done this)
- Simmer for 8-10 minutes, clams will open when ready
Have you ever found yourself struggling with something and decided to back off and look at it from a new perspective? How’d that work out? Did you ever run in to me when I was aggressively waving on my runs down to the tobacco barns- I’m sorry:)….